My approach to coaching is based on the systemic principle, which stems from constructivist theory, according to which there is no absolute truth, but rather a perception of reality that differs for each individual. Systemic coaching is a process of self-help. The systemic coach adopts an attitude of “not knowing,” of “not being certain,” of “being connected,” and of “trust.”
- Attitude of “not being certain”: I don’t know what my client is feeling; I can only listen carefully and be empathetic, but I cannot rely on my personal experience to know what the other person is truly feeling (constructivism). Staying curious and asking the client to explain what they mean is key.
- Attitude of “not knowing”: Solutions developed by one person are not necessarily valid for another. The coach accompanies the client in constructing a new reality, guiding them with questions that allow them to broaden their horizons.
- Attitude of “being connected”: The coach and the client create a system; they influence each other and take turns in leading, much like in a dance. The coach must be aware of their own emotions and the issues that deeply affect them in order to recognize when the client’s issues become too personal and to maintain an appropriate distance.
- Attitude of “trust”: The coach trusts that the client is capable of solving their own problems, taking responsibility, and changing. The coach does not take the client’s place in the search for solutions.
Definition of the mandate
A fundamental part of the coaching process is defining the mandate. What motivates the client to seek out the coach? Is the first answer given truly the real motivation?
A series of initial questions aimed at defining the motivation and the goal are essential for guiding the coaching process and also make it clear how one will know when this goal has been achieved—and thus that the coach is no longer needed (the client may also define time-related expectations).
Clarification of the mandate must be repeated whenever there is a sense that a specified goal has been reached, and it is important to define what constitutes completion, so as to have a measurable benchmark and avoid creating a dependency on the consultant. Each session may include a brief clarification of the mandate to determine what will be addressed in the session and the client’s current priorities.
Counselor or Advisor?
In my role as a job coach, I alternate between the roles of process consultant (Counselor) and knowledge consultant (Advisor) when helping the client with job application materials, interview preparation, or the search for potential job roles.
The process of discovering one’s own career inclinations and desires, as well as individual barriers and needs, however, requires that the coach takes the role of guiding the process, while the client is responsible for the content and the development of their own solutions.
Main Tools
The basic tools of the systemic coach are active listening, systemic questions, verbalization, and hypothesis formulation.
- Active listening: Listening is accompanied by mirroring (paraphrasing) the client’s narrative—in a more or less concise manner—and highlighting phrases and elements of the client’s nonverbal communication that may have gone unnoticed by the speaker, with the goal of triggering personal reflection. This is done without passing judgment or adding personal opinions, but by sharpening the observation of cues and, when appropriate, adding logical conclusions closely tied to what was said (expanded paraphrasing). The coach lets the client speak, taking the floor for only a very small fraction of the time.
- Systemic questions: These are designed to deepen personal reflection, driven by the coach’s curiosity to better understand (the “not being certain” attitude). There are many types, such as circular questions, scaling questions, socratic questions, resource-oriented questions etc…
- Verbalization: This involves articulating the emotions the client may be experiencing at that moment. It is helpful to suggest two contrasting emotions to allow the client to go deeper and perhaps uncover emotions that were initially repressed.
- Formulating hypotheses: The coach helps open up new possibilities and ways of seeing things. This occurs, among other things, by formulating hypotheses that are presented to the client as possibilities—always in the subjunctive mood—and subject to verification by the client.